


countless times

by layerto



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Freetime Spoilers, M/M, somewhat AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-02 12:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/layerto/pseuds/layerto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What I thought was worth it turned out to be an eternal regret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_The first time I met you was behind the old school building. You were soaked - the other students that left with a bucket were definitely the ones behind it. But if they never decided to throw the bucket of water at you, would anything have changed?_

  
"I'm so sorry for making you help me."  
The boy is rubbing his white hair against a towel. His shirt was tossed aside into a small bag, and he was wearing the other boy's gym uniform. "No, it's fine. It looked like you needed it." Forcing a disgustingly modest smile, the brown haired boy hands the boy a bag with his soaked uniform sitting inside. "I'm Hinata Hajime. I'm in the same homeroom as you."  
Accepting the bag with a smile, the taller boy sits the towel around his shoulders, his hair now standing up in just about every direction. "My name is Komaeda Nagito. Nice to meet you." _How polite,_ Hinata thinks.

_That kind demeanor was what I thought was who you were, but I should've known that you were made of much more than a smile._

 

_The second time I met you was after class, where I approached you to head home together. I learned that you didn't live far from me._

"Hinata-kun... I appreciate your kindness, but you don't need to hang out with me."  
Walking side by side, the two boys walked down a silent street lined with houses that all looked the same. This town was just another staple, exactly the same as the others, but it felt a little different with someone else by your side. "If this is about you getting bullied, I don't mind," Hinata comments. Komaeda only looks at him in surprise for a moment, but it fades into a smile. "I see."

_That smile was the smile that appeared to be the truth, but it was all a lie._

_The third time I met you was after class again, where we decided that we would walk home together daily. You seemed to appreciate the company, although still a little unsure._

Komaeda is carefully sliding his textbooks into his bookbag as Hinata sits down on the table next to his, waiting for him to pack up. The sun is already shining an orange light into the room. That would have to be the first time that Hinata took a proper look at the boy, from his facial shape to his fingertips. _Beautiful,_ was the only word that was fitting. It was as if he was glowing. "Sorry for taking so long, Hinata-kun. I'm ready now!" Hinata nods and they both leave the bright classroom.

_That was the first time I thought anything so dumb, so cheesy._

_The fourth time I met you was in the school infirmary. You felt sick near the end of class, so I took you down to the infirmary to rest._

"Sorry, Hinata-kun, I-"  
Hinata shakes his head and stops Komaeda with a simple 'no'. "It's no problem. Really." He didn't have anything better to do in this boring place. "You see, Hinata-kun, I'm sick." Hinata looks at Komaeda, confused. Was it a fever? He went over and placed a hand against the boy's head, comparing temperatures, but Komaeda shook his head after, smiling. "I mean, hospital-kind of sick."  
"What?" Komaeda explains that right now, his brain was slowly shrinking and that his early death was inevitable. It could be today or tomorrow, or years from now. "It depends."

_That was when I learned that everything in the world wasn't eternal. I shouldn't have made anything in my life important, because it would only lead to tears and suffering..._

_...right?_

 

_The fifth time I met you was during break, where I decided to hang out with you instead of other classmates I didn't really care about. They only pretended to like me, anyways._

Komaeda lead Hinata up the flight of stairs until he reached the very top and slowly opened the metal door, heading to the school's rooftop. He headed over to the fence, holding onto it and almost about to press his face onto it. "Isn't it nice up here, Hinata-kun?" Hinata doesn't respond, but lets the cool summer breeze pass by. "Are you trying to jump off?" Komaeda giggles for the first time.  
"Oh no, I'm not being bullied that much, nor am I that depressed about my sickness. I'm quite happy, you see." Hinata continues to stare over the city's boring scenery. "Why's that?"

"I have a friend now."

_..._

_The countless time I met you was after school another time, and as you know, this happened daily._

"Hinata-kun, let's go this way!"  
Komaeda points in the opposite direction of their homes the moment they exit the school. "Why?", Hinata asks, giving a questionable look. "A detour should be fine, right? Besides, there's more shops and less homes this way!" Komaeda grabs onto Hinata's wrist and pulls him along, smiling.  
They reach a convenience store and buy a questionable candy brand.  
"What is this...?" Hinata stares at the bag of lollipops. "Ta... basco?" Komaeda only smiles and urges Hinata to try it. He's reluctant and tries it, but all he feels is an instant burn on his tongue and removes the lollipop out of his mouth quickly. "You eat this stuff?!"  
"Oh, no. I just thought it'd be funny."

_That was the first time I learned that he was a little bit of a joker... and really good at finding weird things._

_The very countless time I met you was at my house, where I invited you over for a sleepover._

"Here."  
Hinata brings over two cups of tea to a small kotatsu. Komaeda is busy playing around and desperately trying to warm himself up - he's trying to fit most of his body under it. Hinata pulls him out and sits across from him with a grumble. "A kotatsu isn't a toy, you know-"  
Komaeda kicks Hinata in the leg. "What are you doing?"  
"Um... I thought it would be fun."

_That was the first time I experienced your childish side after I lost a game of footsie by spilling boiling tea all over my stomach._

_The extremely countless time I met you was outside of my home, your eyes puffed, wearing a frown._

_Sniff... sniff._ "H-Hinata-kun..."  
Hinata has his hand on Komaeda's back, stroking and patting him in a slightly desperate effort to console the boy. "...I don't want to die yet."  
"I don't want you to die either." His strangled cries makes a stinging pain in Hinata's chest. Something's twisting, but it only confuses him. He ignores it and distracts himself, comforting Komaeda.

"Hinata-kun..." Komaeda continues to stay curled up in a ball, not looking at him. "Yeah?"  
"Let's meet ten years from now." Hinata's terribly confused. "But, aren't you only lasting one or two more?" The words are hard to say, but Hinata sucks up his guilt. "Because, Hinata-kun... if we can meet ten years from now, then we're definitely meant to be."

"After all, the amount of time I would've spent with you would be... countless."

_..._

_The first time I didn't meet you was the first day I stayed at home. I slept for almost the entire day and refused to leave my room. Why did I throw such a fit, I wonder._

_..._

_A truly countless time I met you was in a quiet place. Stoneplates lining up, weighing down every inch of happiness in the vicinity. I stand in front of one of them and squat down. I place a cup of green tea, a distasteful lollipop and a single daisy._   
_It's almost fifteen years since we met._   
_My entire view on this boring - no, amazing town is different because of you. All of those small things made this dreary place fill with colour, and that's what I'm grateful for._

"Do you think we were meant to be, Komaeda?"

 

 

 

In a small, dimly lit office, the sound of a scratching pencil ends.  
The man sets down his utensil and wipes his eyes. He wasn't supposed to read the book again, but he wanted to add one more note to the end of his notebook.

 

_I wish that I never helped you in the beginning._


	2. alternate line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to stay in the dream a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I still felt like that one-shot wasn't enough, why aren't we having alternate events... or maybe they're not alternate at all?  
> That's up to you.

_An alternate time I met you was when you were crying alone on a rainy day outside on the school grounds. It was the first time I've released my frustrations on you._

"Komaeda?! What are you doing-"

Hinata runs up to the sobbing boy with his umbrella. The tall boy is being rained down on, his usually poofy hair already sitting down, soaked. "I-I'm sorry, Hinata-kun. I'm sorry." Hinata's confused as he doesn't bother to lift the umbrella. Instead, he drops it on the ground and lets the rain seep into his clothing. It's cold.  
"There's nothing to be sorry for."

"There is."

"And what would that be?" Hinata grits his teeth. He cared for Komaeda, but sometimes he was just too much. He was a pansy. Weak. Of course, he couldn't do so much about it, but sometimes... you know, it wasn't easy to deal with people like that. "I'm sorry for existing. For living." He raises his head towards the sky, but he isn't frowning. To be exact, he was smiling a smile so twisted it had no description to be written down with.  
Clenching his fists, Hinata lets out a grumble. "Komaeda, I'm sorry."

"Hmm? There's nothing to- _gh!"_

A fist makes contact with his face. Putting all of his will into letting out his frustrations, Hinata loses his balance with the punch. So does Komaeda - he falls to the ground on his back. "H-Hinata-kun?!" He looks like he's on the verge of tears.

"That's the face I need to see."

Komaeda is staring up at Hinata, his eyes furrowed, frowning with teeth clenching tightly against each other.  
He gets up with the same angry expression and furiously reaches for Hinata's shirt, tugging tight onto the fabric. He pulls just hard enough to get Hinata on his tiptoes. "What are you going to do?", Hinata asks, chuckling with a solemn smile.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll hit you too."

"Haha... that's funny. If I punch you in the face, you're suddenly much better."

Komaeda groans. "Hinata-kun, I don't want to be angry at you." His grip releases and dropping back onto the ground, Hinata grabs ahold of Komaeda's shoulders. Both of them weren't sure of what was supposed to happen, but by the way the world rotates and how society thinks, this wasn't supposed to happen.

A pair of lips crash against each other, cold under the heavy rain.

"I think you're pretty angry at me."

_I learned that maybe what we felt for each other must've been much different than I expected._

 

 

The man opens his eyes suddenly and isn't sure of what to think.

"I don't... remember doing that."

However, tears don't come to his face this time - it's rather a chuckle. "I wonder why I didn't do that?", he tells himself jokingly. However, it may not be a joke after all.

**Author's Note:**

> "If I didn't help you... I wouldn't need to feel this way. I wouldn't need to feel unnecessary pain, cry or feel at all. I could've lived a terribly boring life, but you had to come in and change that. That... absolutely sickens me.  
> If you weren't there, I wouldn't need to care. You could be the kid that got bullied everyday and didn't have anything to live for. You could've jumped off that roof, you could've even had a friend that wasn't me.
> 
> It's terrible that it had to be me.
> 
> I only got an experience that I didn't know I wanted."


End file.
